This made me cry today…
and not in a good way. I don’t know how many people have been following the story of Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz, who are accused of murdering their 7 year old daughter Lydia, torturing their 11 year old, and more charges pending.
Oh yes…they murdered the 7 year old because she couldn’t pronounce the word “pulled”. That’s right – this self-professed Christian, homeschooling, adoptive parent family BEAT A GIRL TO DEATH.
That’s horrific.
Want to know what’s worse?
They did it to her in the name of Jesus and Micheal Pearl. Just in case any of my readers are confused, let me explain. You may not know who Mr. Pearl is – I’ll get to that – but I’m pretty sure you don’t know who their Jesus is either. Because that Jesus isn’t the same Jesus I serve, the one who clearly stated “Let the children come to me, and forbid them not” and “the kingdom of Heaven is of such as these” and “what you did unto the least of these my brethren, you did to me” and “unless you become as a little child, you shall in no wise enter the kingdom”.
This other Jesus? He’s not the one who was bruised for our iniquities, wounded for our transgressions, the one who bore the punishment for our peace. Nope, this one demands that the most childish of mistakes be punished with 1/4 inch plumbing line, bruising, slapping, tripping children into the lake, encouraging them to burn their hands on stoves, offering them their most favorite toy and then hitting them for reaching for it, pulling the hair of a nursing infant, placing them outdoors in cold weather and hosing them down full force with cold water for potty accidents, and other sadistic rituals. Of course, this is to be done while the parent smiles and explains that “Jesus” wants this. If you do it just right, you get the satisfaction of watching your 4 year old daughter “train” her dolls, of watching older children “train” siblings…that just gives you warm fuzzies all over. You can write a letter to Jesus’ henchman, Michael Pearl, and it may even get included in his website or child abuse manuals biblical parenting guides. If you’re REALLY successful…you wind up suffocating your adopted 4 year old son (RIP, Sean Paddock) or killing your adopted 7 year old daughter (Read about it here). Then we all get to read about it and watch it on the news.
Now, this spokeperson for Psycho-Psuedo-Jesus? Michael Pearl? I really, really, really don’t get why this ….person…. is so accepted in otherwise Christian circles. Especially homeschooling Christian circles. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s because he’s so very insidious and skilled at playing on fear. After all, many of us Christians who homeschool want to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society who love Jesus more than anything. Pearl offers a manual for how to do so, wrapped up in personal anecdotes and alternative medication suggestions and newsy, brag-ish, old man of the mountain style. I’ve read all of his books. I grew up in a home that um…well…let’s just say that my no-corporal-punishment stance as an adult and parent isn’t well accepted by my family of origin 
– and I found myself nodding at some of the rhetoric he used, and applauding his stance on other things (yes, I believe babies deserve mama’s milk…I believe that children have a right to be loved…I even like his ideas about chilling out about boy’s classroom education and letting them get some real-world experience.) But what those kernels of truth are embedded in…it’s like one of my friends so eloquently described it. Sure, I could dig through my cat’s litter box looking for Tootsie Rolls…but I’d have to paw through a lot of excrement to do so. And I sure wouldn’t want to eat the candy once I found it!
And since this guy is repping for a different master, of course, his ‘Christian’ theology is interesting, to say the least. I had to check and make sure it wasn’t April 1 when I read his diatribe on how God reveres the KJV Bible above Jesus. (I mean, I AGREED with him…I’m quite sure God does revere any version of the Bible above Psycho-Psuedo-Jesus. But I’m also pretty sure that wasn’t Mr. Pearl’s point.) Let’s just say there’s plenty of heretical points this guy makes in his theology. He even goes so far as to teach that he is above sin, and lives without ever sinning. Of course, rational humans also shudder at his exhortations to women…such as the one where he instructs a woman to welcome back the husband who molested their kids, because God hates divorce. (Yeah, maybe it’s just me. But I’m fairly certain that God hates child abuse a heckuva lot more than He does a woman fleeing to safety.)
I know that God can bring good out of the ashes of any sort of evil. I’m praying that the good that arises out of the torture and murder of this child is that people will finally realize the devastation and wrongness and anti-Christness of the Pearl’s “ministry”. And I’m hoping that maybe, this will be the case that forces them to stand trial along with the parents who espoused their “training” methods all the way to the point of murder.
*headdesking*
you know, I can’t even talk to Ron about this, as it upsets him so greatly, he will not even begin to be able to work.
If you want or need to call me, please do.
*hugs*
I just DO NOT GET IT either. How is this love?
I’m gonna link this post from my blog. I was about to blog on it but you said it so much better. Or worse. Sigh.
THANK YOU for such a well written article. How disgusting that these parents would murder their adopted child in the name of “biblical parenting”. I’ve read the Pearl’s website on several occassions and it makes me hug my baby a little tighter and promise to be more patient, more gentle, and above all else, more loving. It hurts my heart to hear of children being abused, screamed at, hit, etc. When will CHRISTians start acting like Christ and let that extend into their parenting?!
Well said.. If I could not put my anger into words such as this.. My heart is broken for this little girl and her siblings..
This is just heartbreaking. I wish I could say something more meaningful, but this stuff really just tears me to bits.
It is appalling the things that are in those books that people are willing to shrug off for what you called the “tootsie rolls.” Thanks for writing about it.
Rebecca, I publish the Hope Chest e-magazine for over 1000 families around the world. I have written a piece called “Child Discipline or Child Abuse?” to send out this evening or tomorrow. I would like to link to your blog post, which I think explains things well. Do you have any objection to this? You can e-mail me at virginiaknowles dot gmail dot com.
Thanks
Virginia
I don’t get it either, Andrea. After all, we move heaven and earth to help the woman who says “but he hits me because he loves me” – even the law steps in with mandatory separation in many cases. But how many of those women are trained to be victims by a childhood of parental ‘love’ and ‘this hurts me worse than it hurts you’?
thanks for linking, and for sharing the photo of the murder weapon on your site. It’s heartbreaking to imagine Lydia’s final moments
I know what you mean, Charity – I wrote this and then I went and held my son for as long as he’d let me (6 year olds don’t like to be cuddled like babies
) I’m an imperfect human being, striving to be like Christ – and I don’t see any scripture that shows him striking a child.
((((Mrs. Chris and 2Shaye))))
I’ll be blogging more about some of the nuggets of……stuff in the books in the days to come. What amazes me is that many people will talk about how out of context excerpts are, or say that the parents clearly went far beyond the author’s intent. But when he literally writes about beating them until they have no breath left to complain? I’m not sure how that can possibly be taken out of context.
Thanks, Virginia, I emailed you
Dear Ms. Diamond,
What a beautifully written post. I’m a reporter who’s written about the Pearls (http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2006/05/25/the_pearls/index.html) & am at work on a brief followup story right now, given recent events. Would you mind my quoting from your blog, and/or asking you a few other questions? Please drop me an email if you can.
Many thanks.
Lynn Harris
Hello Lynn,
Thanks for taking the time to stop by – I’ve just emailed you, so if you don’t get it for any reason, please let me know.
I’ve read and re-read your article over the years, and it’s a resource I often recommend.
I say we bombard his website with emails until it crashes! At least the hate spewing religious FREAK won’t have his pathetic little website to spread his twisted reality. Men who beat women and children are cowards! Let them face a real man…they won’t! There’s a special place in “hell” for people like this and I’m sure they’ve already got his name on the spot where he’s destined to go. God Bless the children of the people who follow him. It’s disgusting. It makes me want to take a baseball bat to these people instead of a mere pipe!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=325443419900
You know what I wish for them, Ms. G? That God would open their eyes to the damage they’ve caused, the lives they have crushed by their twisted doctrine. That’s all the punishment I want for them – because that’s enough to break anyone.
WoW!! I am shocked by some of the things I am reading here. The Pearls have changed my life and the lives of my children. Their teachings have enriched our lives and made us so much closer as a family. Anyone who thinks that their teachings are about abuse or only about the use of the rod have not really read them.
They talk about tying strings with your children, loving them, training them, actually being friends with them. That you really can be in authority, and still be their best buddy at the same time. They talk about really enjoying your children. They talk about having wonderful marriages, and how to use common herbs. They talk about how to get your children involved in everyday work, and actually feel like they accomplished something at the end of the day. They talk about being a learner, and the best teachers are those who love to learn. They talk about teaching your children in fun ways that really work, instead of ways that will bore them to death. They talk about having fun with your children.
People are always amazed at how much my children know how to do, because I involve them in everything. Most people do not give children enough credit. They separate them out their whole lives and then can’t figure out why when they hit 18 they don’t know how to live life. They don’t know how to use a checkbook, they don’t know how to pay bills, they don’t know how to cook a meal, they don’t know how to wash a load of cloths. They do not have the joy of learning, because learning has never been a joy, and now they are on their own, and don’t know how to deal with real life.
And as far as the wife going back to her husband that abused the children, I believe they said to turn him into the police and visit him in jail and never let him near the children again. The pearls would NEVER recommend beating or abusing a child. They are about so much more to them than the tidbits that people are picking out and using against them.
I was wondering how long before the supporters showed up
“Anyone who thinks that their teachings are about abuse or only about the use of the rod have not really read them. “
Actually, I’ve read their 4 books on ‘child training’ cover to cover. I’ve read every page on their website. I even subscribed to their newsletter for a very long time, to make sure that I was accurately representing the garbage they spew in God’s name.
“They are about so much more to them than the tidbits that people are picking out and using against them.”
The thing is…if the “tidbits” I’m “picking out” give such a horrific picture of them – then their whole premise is defiled by it. If quoting them verbatim and in full context (as I did in the post after this) points to horrendous advice that normal people recoil from, then the entire well it’s drawn from is poisoned. To quote a higher authority, a little leaven spoils the whole lump.
It sounds as if you’ve been able to dig through the litter box and find some Tootsie Rolls
I’m glad you’ve found some things in there that encouraged you to bring your children alongside you in daily life, and to truly be a family. The thing is, I’m accomplishing the same thing with my child without having to wade through muck to get there.
You are close to your children *in spite of* this, not *because of* this. The Pearl’s methods of childrearing do not produce the Fruits of the Spirit. Where’s the gentleness, longsuffering, patience, goodness, kindness…where is the MERCY in the advice that insists parents utterly dominate, or that they hit a 6 month old with a 12″ long stick? It’s not there.
I’ll pray for you and yours – I know that we share the common desire to raise our child(ren) in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I do believe that you’re following some grievously wrong advice, and I’d love for your eyes to be opened to this.
“It sounds as if you’ve been able to dig through the litter box and find some Tootsie Rolls”
“~~seriously! You nailed it!
Rebecca,
Good on ya’ for being a voice to follow this horrific act of violence and point out some crucial errors in the ideas of the Pearls.
Put me down as one who narrowly missed that awful mindset. Some families that attended a church I was attending were trying to bring these ideas of discipline into the church. Even though I was intimidated by those ladies at the time, in my heart I respected the good common sense that God blessed me with and knew that stuff was wrong.
Poor little Lydia. May she rest in peace.
The more I read about this story the more my heart breaks. This is so awful. I just want to cry every time I read something new.
I am glad more and more people are speaking out about this.
I just wanted to point everyone to an excellent response to Pearl’s awful “laughter” that Vyckie Garrison at No Longer Quivering has written.
http://nolongerquivering.com/2010/03/03/no-laughing-matter-michael-pearls-callous-response-to-critics/#more-4517
Rebecca,
I am one of the people who knew the Shatz family…..somewhat…..i agree for one thing that the Pearls writings are OFF in terms of the Jesus I know….you are so right…..this family seemed to be such a sweet kind family…the children wonderful…so what went wrong….I did notice little things…sometimes the kids seemed TOO PERFECT. A couple of times 2 of the children looked like they were desperate to tell and adult something…what?? I wondered…I didn’t feel I could pry. This is one thing I wonder about the PEARLS ministry. Seems like they’re making a whole lot of money off the insecurity of people. Thats strange and also THEY aren’t around when trouble hits. They are playing out like the wolves in sheeps clothing in the Bible. I think by seeing ministries which are just slightly OFF but actually really OFF we are seeing why in the Bible Jesus warned of the Scribes and Pharisees. They were plenty proud of themselves-and Jesus warned of them. Why did Jesus get SO MAD at the money-changers that he turned over their tables? Because he knew they didn’t care about the people-they only wanted to make a profit. HE said “my fathers house is a house of prayer”. Isn’t Christianity following Jesus-yet some of
the fakers out there just want money. Well-they’ll see what happens when the angels separate the sheep from the goats- in the end. God knows who really has the spirit of Christ-if the Pearls are wrong in the end-and they may be and take some with them they will not go to heaven much to their surprise
and they won’t get to take their money along either-just their memories of their folksy wisdom which may have done its best job of fooling themselves!
This is beyond sickening! I’m an adopitive parent, and plan to homeschool, but would never ever follow a teaching like this. And this sickens me beyond, for the pure children that are tortured! And these fools make it hard on the rest of us that are adoptive or homeschool parents, to the outside world. Many fear we are all like this! I”m so thankful for your voice and article! I will be visiting oftern! Thank you so much!
I’m just a little confused. Did the Pearls kill the child, or did the parents? How did the Pearls know these people?
This article is GROSSLY MISLEADING. The Pearls are wise and kind people that teach you how to be GOOD parents…NOT ABUSIVE ANGRY HYPOCRITES such as those parents from Cal. are. Let’s lay blame where blame is due, shall we?!
If you read what I’ve written, nowhere did I say the Pearls killed Lydia. The Schatz parents killed Lydia by following, to the letter, the exact words of Michael Pearl.
I’ve gladly laid the blame where it’s due – at the feet of a self anointed parenting ‘expert’, who published material telling parents to utterly dominate their child, and ‘train’ them with plumbing tubing until they ‘had no breath to complain’. That’s exactly what Mr. and Mrs. Schatz did. Mr. Pearl will answer to God one day for his ‘training’ advice, whether or not the law of the land is ever able to stop him. Sadly enough, what he is preaching is the exact antithesis to the God of the Bible.