Hypoglycemia

Because I tend to be hypoglycemic in pregnancy, sugar is NOT my friend. Which is really tricky for someone who has a developed appreciation for chocolate. :OP

I’ve come to realize that my battle with morning sickness and headaches is largely due to hyper-sensitive blood sugar levels. The sugar crash most people would feel after polishing off a box of donuts I get from eating a bowl of raisin bran. It’s a wild, crazy roller coaster of trying to juggle protein and complex sugars. The simple stuff is out, even too much fruit at one time. Gar.

I have to be careful, too, because once I have a little too much and crash, my body craves even more to level me out again. It’s a vicious cycle. And if I allow myself to eat that much sugar constantly, I’ll shoot my pancreas to pancreas hades, and end up with a hefty mama and baby at the end of the show, as well as a baby whose sugar is all out of whack after birth. No me likey.

So, basically, I’m on a diabetic diet for now, which means that even natural sweeteners are out, or at least used quite sparingly. It’s not a big adjustment from how I normally eat, but it does mean that one of my last-ditch crutches when I’m feeling emotionally vulnerable is out. No tiny cartons of mocha ice cream, no chocolate bars. Not unless I want to feel like roadkill.

And since I’m strongly against artificial sweeteners, that means I have to tame my sweet tooth altogether. Just as well!

12 Week belly pic

I’m getting my energy back slowly…ever so slowly! I spent a good week getting our house and lives back in order, tightening up again on rules and schedule, and finally things are starting to resemble order. *whew*

I’m still having iffy days blood sugar wise, and if I don’t eat, I still tailspin into rounds of the dry heaves. And smells still get to me on an empty stomach. Gack. (The moral to THAT story is eat, eat, eat regularly!) But, overall, I’m feeling more normal. )

I’m now getting dizzy sleeping on my back, and can no longer sleep on my belly. Nighttime is a little bit of a challenge as we’re transitioning our 2yo into being night weaned and sleeping in a crib rather than under mama’s arm. She’s doing surprisingly well, and isn’t experiencing too much anxiety during the day as a byproduct…score!!

I’m typically in bed by 9:30 or so. Sooooo sleepy at the end of the day.

School time, school time…

I guess I’m “outing” myself as planning to home school dd this year instead of doing Pre-K. :O) We’re very excited about it, and I’m trying to get my “ducks” in a row, as far as teaching philosophy is concerned for early childhood education.

I’m doing a combination of Montessori, Charlotte Mason and classical schooling, as well as a smidge of Waldorf thrown in.

I couldn’t be more completely pumped about it, especially since I’m out of my first trimester with baby #3 and have a semblance of energy back!

Here’s where Essie is right now: she has a good grasp on number value, easy addition, knows her letters and most of the sounds they make, and has a HUGE desire to learn to read and write. The last bit alone is enough to fill my heart with motivation and excitement. She’s ready, so we’re going to take it nice and slow.

I’m trying to incorporate a lot of nature, sensory experience, rhythm and play into her learning, and hopefully spending a lot of time outdoors.

Reading:
For the first month or so, we’re doing a “letter of the day” through the alphabet, including “round up everything that starts with an “A” sound before the timer goes off” games, matching, basic writing practice, finger plays, songs and rhymes, etc.

I’m going to try the book “Teach a Child to Read With Children’s Books” for a bit, using our personal library and a few Bob readers, and play it by ear from there. Nothing more than 10min a day, unless she becomes engrossed (which tends to happen lately).

Music: Kindermusik this fall, as well as listening to some classical music and talking about how it makes us feel, which parts are fast/slow/happy/sad/loud/excited, and how the composer might have hoped to make us feel with his music.

Science will be done exclusively outside, exploring and talking about animals/seasons/plants etc. We do lots of treasure hunting outside with baskets, cooking, “experiments” with water/clay/sand, building a very basic vocabulary of science words and understanding of physical properties. This is my favorite part. D

Math is pretty much just playing with blocks/toys, taking a certain number of physical objects away or adding them, counting games, measuring with measuring cups. Nothing fancy.

I’m way, way too excited about this. ) I’ll be even more excited when we’re able to get into our own house next year and can properly organize a school room and cabinet for our supplies…but for now, we’re not really so formal that we need that level of organization, so it’ll work out in the end.

I’m pumped. D

Energy Burst!!

Today I got two loads of laundry done, cooked lunch, cleaned the girl’s bathroom, cleaned our bedroom, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the kitchen floor. O

I’m now relaxing on the couch (watching recorded women’s gymnastics) and actually feeling OK, not wiped out like I imagined I might be.

I smile. )

Some rice with lots of Bragg’s and scrambled eggs seems to have prompted decent water consumption…between the salts and the liquid, my headache is gone for a while. Whoohoo!

During one’s first trimester (or ANY trimester) is a stupid time to be on a super strict budget that doesn’t even allow for $5 of spending on a SHIRT that actually fits.

It’s a stupid time to have to cook every cotton picking meal from scratch.

It’s a stupid time to never have money on hand to satisfy any cravings at all, not that anyone would ever run out and get anything for me anyway.

A stupid time to have sick kiddos, and a stupid time to have to try to nightwean.

It’s a stupid time to have NO pants that fit.

It’s a stupid time to not have massages or flowers or anything special at all.

It’s a stupid time to feel ugly and miserable overall.

Yes, I’m know I’m feeling witchy. And I wish I had a broom to fly far, far away on.

I’d give just about anything to feel good again. (

Movement

I felt the first “flutters” a couple of days ago, two weeks earlier than I felt them with Naomi, and four weeks before Esther. <3 It was truly cool.

Our baby is about the same weight as two of these sugar packets.

The dull, constant headache has started, too, on top of continued nausea. / Finding the right balance between protein and carbs is almost impossible, and my blood sugar is wild. Eating any sugar besides fruits for me would be suicide right now, and I’m almost not joking. Eating one small sweet is enough to send me reeling on the floor. This is truly demoralizing…I can tell I’m started to become depressed. I think 3 kiddos might be it for us, barring adoption someday. The first tri for me (especially with 2 kids in the house) is pretty hellish.

Adding to the frustration is the fact that Naomi is clinging and screaming whenever I tell her she can’t nurse all day, and both girls have nasty summer colds.

I won’t lie. I’m miserable right now.

I want this part to be over two weeks ago.

I grocery shop all by myself these days.

(It’s the easiest way to make sure I only buy what’s on the list, and making sure my girls don’t have a late afternoon meltdown. Taking them to a store full of reachable things at the end of the day and telling them to sit still and not touch has to be the EPITOME of not setting them up for a successful evening. This I learned the hard way a long time ago :OP)

As a tugged at my rubberbanded jeans, I was thrilled to note that the air breezing across the parking lot lacked the stinging bite of summer. No stifling humidity, no threatening roar of rolling heat, no baking tar smell creeping up my shoes and legs up towards my nose. It was almost as if a raging entity had died, and it’s lack of presence left the whole world celebrating.

Three big crows sat cawing from the top of the building, as if waiting to pounce upon summer’s hot, dead carcass. It made me giggle. No, I’m not fond of summer, especially not smothering southern ones.

Autumn is flirting with the world, teasing us by sticking a leg around the corner. I’m hoping she’ll show her face more and more in the mornings and evenings, and finally chase summer away all together. I can’t wait for soups and pumpkins and leaves and chilly air and long sleeved flannel shirts.

I know one pregnant mama who can’t wait to go back outside. )

Gestation personality magnification

I’ve found that pregnancy tends to take whatever traits I naturally have and make them more pronounced. Acne. Boobs. Intuition. Dreams. Introversion.

Lately, the latter is getting my goat. :OP

Normally, I’m a borderline introvert who enjoys people but needs her personal space to reflect and process. My strengths lie in reading others and helping them process their feelings, so I enjoy being around people (especially safe people) in moderation. People are fun.

But while I’m gestating, my urge to even avoid waving at the post lady is revved up to the max. At the grocery, I pick the grumpiest looking cashier I can find, so they’ll not try to make small talk. I avoid phone calls. Nothing personal. I just don’t feel like talking!

My husband (who is normally MUCH more introverted than I) drags me outside or to friend’s homes kicking and protesting. I usually end up enjoying myself once I’m out, but my gut instinct is to curl up with a book and protect my heart from the barrage of humanity that hits me as soon as I go out. SO many emotions out there, so many things to get emotional over, so many things to get easily wrapped up in!

What’s more, when I do try to talk, it comes out like, “Well, the thing that makes the world so fruity behind the porch is a real mess of a piano piece. Bananas!” Brain is totally shot. Vocabulary, which is usually quite decent runs away to the point that I’ve considered carrying a pocket thesaurus in my purse, like some annoying American tourist sporting a French phrase book while visiting Paris. Sentence fragments abound, because those superfluous little words just drain my life force.

If I see you in public and run away, fear not. I don’t hate you. I’m just living in my own little world of dreamy nausea-induced introversion. And, if you dare, say hello and keep me from being a total hermit. I might just say, “Hang the wall pineapple and have a great taco! Shazaam!” P

Rejoining the land of the LIVING!

I’m just past 10 weeks now, and life is becoming less about dry heaving on the couch, and more about making sure I eat enough and rest every hour or so. D

The tough thing being that it’s easy for your family to see you as “all better” with a bad case of the grumpies, rather than simply feeling a smidge better than before and still needing lots of rest. P “What? Moi? Grouchy? No way!! I only have a headache, exhaustion, a lingering feeling of nausea and a lower back ache. Why on EARTH would I be grouchy?” (Occasionally, in the weakness of gestation, I stray into sarcasm, likely further fueling the opinion that I need an attitude adjustment rather than a backrub. Oy vey.)

We have reached the conclusion that our eldest daughter is a die hard extrovert, which is both delightful to observe and problematic for parenting. We’re both introverts, although I am a borderline one who enjoys moderate human interaction. When we’re all done with conversation and ready to settle into a corner to recharge, our almost 4yo is despairing in the floor, wailing about her lack of playmates and “interesting friends”. She cannot abide to NOT be in the center of someone’s attention, and it’s awfully draining. She’s enough like me that she finds people’s inner workings fascinating, and she’ll stir up trouble where there isn’t any just to amuse herself at times.

I need to read up on her personality type (which I strongly suspect is ENFJ) and figure out how to get several steps ahead of her each day…and I’m seriously pondering enrolling her in part time preschool for this fall, not because she needs to learn anything (she’s already reading and doing simple addition), but because she’d be around lots of *people* for several hours a day. It’s something to ponder.

If I had a fairy godmother…

I’m not usually a big whiner, and don’t indulge my fantasies too often…but today I’m employing a parenting technique that my oldest daughter loves: coping with frustration by indulging in a “I wish I could just….” session.

If I had a fairygodmother, I’d ask her to wave her magic wand and:

1. Make it autumn! The heat is stifling and icky, and all my maternity clothes are long sleeved. I love the cool crisp breeze, and colors and smells of autumn…mmmmmm. <3

2. Make this nausea go away! It’s so tiring. Blech. I’m done.

3. Turn ALL my dirty laundry into clean laundry…bippityboppityboo!! D

4. Make my 2yo stop stripping and widdling puddles on my floor.

5. Make dinner cooking, floor scrubbing rabbits and mice appear to cheer me up. :OP