just a whine

I try not to complain too much, but I just need to have a whine. And I’m posting it here where most likely no one will read it anyway. But being the extrovert that I am, I have to get it out, and don’t want to bore anyone with listening to it in person.

Being a single mom is such hard work. Tonight at toilet full of toilet paper got to me.  I almost threw up dealing with it, and I just about started crying thinking about how it’s ALL my job to deal with. Every plugged toilet. Every poop or pee mess. Every meal is mine to cook. Every dish is mine to clean up. Every floor is mine to vacuum, sweep, mop. Each load of laundry I have to wash, fold, and put away (although the girls are beginning to put away their laundry). Every time a child wakes up during the night or early in the morning, I’m on duty. I don’t get a “day” or a “turn” to sleep in. Every tantrum thrown is mine to endure, every clean-up is mine to oversee. All the sibling rivalries are mine to break up, the amends mine to make sure happen. All the spiders and bugs–that’s my job too. Every injury that happens I somehow endure (although I’m really bad at it). The attitudes, the mean words thrown my way by kids who are hurting because of what someone else did–somehow, I must take it and not let it bother me.

But as I write this, I do think of all the other things that are mine. Every hug and kiss through out the day–those are mine. Every snuggle, every “I love you” is for my ears. Every new thing learned, I get to watch with amazement. Every bedtime cuddle is mine to savor (although that’s not always in my mind at the moment). Every cute thing they say–which happens quite often–is mine to witness and share with anyone else who will hear it. Every missing tooth smile is mine to cherish. Each book we read snuggled on the couch, I get to read to them. I get to watch the creativity unfold before me day in and day out.

It’s not an easy path–that is for sure. Many days I want to trade it for something different. But at the end of the day–at the end of the blog post–I am so blessed by my girls, and am grateful I am their mom.