The last photos are how it looks with just my lamp on…so much better than my ‘before’ photos Oh…I’ve decided that this is *my* room. The Boy can do his schoolwork at my white desk, or he can use his computer desk I’ve set up in another room. I want this to be all girly

Work has been at a standstill for a couple of days because the chair I bought was missing 2 crucial screwish things that meant it wouldn’t stay together. Seeing as how staying together is vital to the act of being a chair, we had to wait until it could be exchanged for another identical-yet-functional piece of furniture. It should be put together tonight, along with my new bookcase/standing desk.

Monday I shall call the electrician, again, and see if I can encourage him to come do the wiring for the room. By then, though, I want to have everything else in place. I picked up some odds and ends, mostly odds, for decor – I have to wait on the Etsians to ship them.

Here is the office with painted walls, and the new carpet, plus pics of the cool Etsy loot.

It’s not at all shiny. I don’t know if it will dry shinier, but I doubt it. However, I think it may work this way. I can’t decide if I want to put another coat on it, or not. Going to leave it overnight and see how I feel in the morning. It kind of looks like someone did a very, very poor job of applying stucco. And then they got fired.

As a side note, my father in law was telling me this morning that he got his first tooth extracted, at 6 years old, in what is now my son’s bedroom. The rest of the house was a police station! Got to love old, small towns (And maybe that’s why The Boy is so scared of the dentists…all those years of tooth-pulling screams stored up in his bedroom walls *shudder*)

Anyway, here’s some photos of the room-ready-to-be-painted, and some of the furnishings I have for it.

It’s doing triple duty right now – a work office for me, my yarn/knitting storage, and my son’s schoolroom. Rather than eclectic, it feels disharmonious and cluttered. So for Mother’s Day, The Husband gamely took me shopping. He did his best not to raise his eyebrows at anything I purchased, although the copper pipe left him feeling slightly befuddled!

My game plan for the room is a nod to steampunk – that mixture of Victorian meets Industrial that only exists in fantasy. Hey, if it worked for Jules Verne, it can work for my office!! I’ve got this lovely deep red for the walls that I plan to glaze with a pearlized tint. A new rug, that looks deliciously shabby, and that won’t completely cover the floor. I plan to rip up the existing carpet and tile and leave the subflooring exposed around the edges of the rug. I’m replacing the overhead light fixture with a bronze outdoor light, and I got a great deal on a Victorian repro arm chair. I plan to create a knitting nook, and I have another outdoor lantern that I will hang on the wall beside the chair. I have a glass-fronted bookcase that I am going to convert into a standing desk for me – no more sitting on my rear end for 12-14 hour days! Add in some miscellaneous odds and ends, a great big lamp with a lovely linen and suede shade, some new curtains (my windows will be properly clothed in 3 layers!)…I can hardly wait to pull it all together. Oh – the copper pipe? What fun is it to add new wiring *behind* the walls? I’m going to have all the new wiring run through copper pipe. I have some flexible copper tubing to coil around the pipe and make it look very, very strange.

With no further ado, I give you the before photos. Please note the ceramic Starbucks cup – I may not live anywhere near a Starbucks, but at least I can pretend!

If your abusing husband fully understands that you have the power of the law behind you, he will learn to keep his hands in his pockets. I am not suggesting you do this to be vindictive or to get even with him. It must be done in humility and love. If your husbands knows that you are the weaker vessel, desperately seeking your survival and that of the kids, and that you are not trying to punish him, but that you are going to stand by and continue to love him, that you are going to wait for him to get out of prison and then try to start over again, it may move his heart to fear if not to repentance. You say, he cannot help himself. Does he help himself when his peers—other men his own size—make him angry? Does he fly out of control and start hitting his boss or his employees? No? Then he has self-control when he must. The law can make it a must, which will allow you to continue with him and demonstrate your womanhood and win him to yourself and then to your God.

But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You ask, “What if he doesn’t repent even then?” Then you will be rewarded in heaven equal to the martyrs, and God will have something to rub in the Devil’s face. God hates divorce—always, forever, regardless, without exception.”

Emphasis mine. Spelling errors his.

Seriously, I rarely swear, but what the hell is this? I do mean hell…this abominable teaching comes straight from one of the lower circles of hell. The article this is pulled from is “Abusive Husband” by Debi Pearl, with a footnote by Michael himself. It’s verbatim, and is the totality of his advice to a woman who is being abused. It was originally published in September of 1999 and can be found on their website still. I won’t link to it, because I don’t believe in linking to anything that promotes abuse.

And when, WHEN, will the law finally make self-control, the cessation of violence toward children, a must?

(Next post? Mr. Pearl compares my Bible study to masturbation.)

Oh yes…they murdered the 7 year old because she couldn’t pronounce the word “pulled”. That’s right – this self-professed Christian, homeschooling, adoptive parent family BEAT A GIRL TO DEATH.

That’s horrific.

Want to know what’s worse?

They did it to her in the name of Jesus and Micheal Pearl. Just in case any of my readers are confused, let me explain. You may not know who Mr. Pearl is – I’ll get to that – but I’m pretty sure you don’t know who their Jesus is either. Because that Jesus isn’t the same Jesus I serve, the one who clearly stated “Let the children come to me, and forbid them not” and “the kingdom of Heaven is of such as these” and “what you did unto the least of these my brethren, you did to me” and “unless you become as a little child, you shall in no wise enter the kingdom”.

This other Jesus? He’s not the one who was bruised for our iniquities, wounded for our transgressions, the one who bore the punishment for our peace. Nope, this one demands that the most childish of mistakes be punished with 1/4 inch plumbing line, bruising, slapping, tripping children into the lake, encouraging them to burn their hands on stoves, offering them their most favorite toy and then hitting them for reaching for it, pulling the hair of a nursing infant, placing them outdoors in cold weather and hosing them down full force with cold water for potty accidents, and other sadistic rituals. Of course, this is to be done while the parent smiles and explains that “Jesus” wants this. If you do it just right, you get the satisfaction of watching your 4 year old daughter “train” her dolls, of watching older children “train” siblings…that just gives you warm fuzzies all over. You can write a letter to Jesus’ henchman, Michael Pearl, and it may even get included in his website or child abuse manuals biblical parenting guides. If you’re REALLY successful…you wind up suffocating your adopted 4 year old son (RIP, Sean Paddock) or killing your adopted 7 year old daughter (Read about it here). Then we all get to read about it and watch it on the news.

Now, this spokeperson for Psycho-Psuedo-Jesus? Michael Pearl? I really, really, really don’t get why this ….person…. is so accepted in otherwise Christian circles. Especially homeschooling Christian circles. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say it’s because he’s so very insidious and skilled at playing on fear. After all, many of us Christians who homeschool want to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society who love Jesus more than anything. Pearl offers a manual for how to do so, wrapped up in personal anecdotes and alternative medication suggestions and newsy, brag-ish, old man of the mountain style. I’ve read all of his books. I grew up in a home that um…well…let’s just say that my no-corporal-punishment stance as an adult and parent isn’t well accepted by my family of origin – and I found myself nodding at some of the rhetoric he used, and applauding his stance on other things (yes, I believe babies deserve mama’s milk…I believe that children have a right to be loved…I even like his ideas about chilling out about boy’s classroom education and letting them get some real-world experience.) But what those kernels of truth are embedded in…it’s like one of my friends so eloquently described it. Sure, I could dig through my cat’s litter box looking for Tootsie Rolls…but I’d have to paw through a lot of excrement to do so. And I sure wouldn’t want to eat the candy once I found it!

And since this guy is repping for a different master, of course, his ‘Christian’ theology is interesting, to say the least. I had to check and make sure it wasn’t April 1 when I read his diatribe on how God reveres the KJV Bible above Jesus.  (I mean, I AGREED with him…I’m quite sure God does revere any version of the Bible above Psycho-Psuedo-Jesus. But I’m also pretty sure that wasn’t Mr. Pearl’s point.) Let’s just say there’s plenty of heretical points this guy makes in his theology. He even goes so far as to teach that he is above sin, and lives without ever sinning. Of course, rational humans also shudder at his exhortations to women…such as the one where he instructs a woman to welcome back the husband who molested their kids, because God hates divorce. (Yeah, maybe it’s just me. But I’m fairly certain that God hates child abuse a heckuva lot more than He does a woman fleeing to safety.)

I know that God can bring good out of the ashes of any sort of evil. I’m praying that the good that arises out of the torture and murder of this child is that people will finally realize the devastation and wrongness and anti-Christness of the Pearl’s “ministry”. And I’m hoping that maybe, this will be the case that forces them to stand trial along with the parents who espoused their “training” methods all the way to the point of murder.

So today, I’m going to follow a lifelong tradition, and have my annual Thanksgiving celebration. No, I’m not talking about cooking for 3 days, eating way too much turkey, and having heartburn for a week. I’m talking about taking a few minutes to list what I’m thankful for.

Let’s see…what’s the rundown? If I were at one of the (plentiful!) church services of my youth, the expected list would be “I thank Jesus for my family, a roof over my head, a job, and most of all salvation amen” and then I’d plop down and look around me as everyone else rattled off variations on the same list. (Those of you who know what I mean, can I get an “Amen”? hmmm…old habits die hard!)

Today, I want to thank God for – are you ready for this? – a book. Specifically, SOS at Midnight, by Walker Tompkins, K6ATX. When I was 11 years old, a doctor friend of my father’s gave an entire series of books by this author to him, to pass on to my brother. I’m an avid reader, as are all of my siblings and many in my extended family, and so fresh books were devoured as soon as they came through the door. These were different, though – these were about ham radio and science and kids and even though they weren’t exactly classic literature, they intrigued me. My friend’s dad was a ham and when I accosted him at church and went on and on about my desire to get my license, he just smiled and told me about a class that would be starting soon. (Thanks, Mr. Boyd!)

I took the classes, made some friends, and most importantly, got my license. My Novice License, to be exact, and followed it shortly with an upgrade to Technician class so that I could get to 2 meters, the holy grail for me. See, phone privileges were limited in my circle, but radio? Since everyone could hear it, radio was ok. I get a giggle now looking back at how patient these people were with a bunch of kids taking over their repeaters, but I only recall one or two people getting grumpy about it. Most of them were friendly and welcoming and did nothing whatsoever to squash my enthusiasm. So I became KB5IZZ, a call sign I still hold. It let me know that my brain *could* do math and science, and moreover, that I had an affinity for it that went far beyond my serious dislike of Abeka math It’s a whole new world when you *want* to learn something, and I was highly motivated.

Enter the move to the Great White North, about a year after I was licensed. 13 years old, homeschooled, moving to rural Maine – I was sure life was over. And in a lot of ways, my life as I knew it had ceased to exist. For the very first time I was outside the circle I grew up in, and as sheltered as my existence still was, I was meeting new friends from all walks of life.

Thanks to my trusty handie-talkie, I soon met all the local hams. None of them, of course, were my age – but I did meet the granddaughter of a pair of hams that’s still a fantastic friend today (hey, Sharon! yes, you should get licensed sometime ) I also met people who were beginning to combine computers with radio…oooh….a whole new world! I mean, we had SSTV (slow scan TV) but people were starting to make computers talk to each other! Wow! Enter the little Tandy 1000EX with the disc that showed an illustration of two computers with a line in between them – you could, one day, write something on your computer and send it to another and somebody could READ it?

So a few years passed in a little geeky blur of radio and computers – yes, I had friends then too, who were all remarkably tolerant of my utter geekiness and loved me anyway (Hey, Bren <3). Then I met some people from Canada on 2 meters (hey, Steph! Tell your parents I said thanks, again!) and we met each other in real life, too. They knew this guy, they were sure I should meet this guy, they insisted I should meet this guy, finally I agreed to meet this guy….

And so I met The Husband. Man meets geek, they fall in love….fast forward to ’97, and we got married. As hard as it may be to fathom, for the first 3 years of our marriage, we couldn’t afford a computer and I seldom got on the air – marriage and work and just life in general got in the way. We got a computer in 2000, and I began entering the world of the internet to do research on a bunch of things. Yes, I remember a world pre-google, as shocking as that is. A world when you had to get very, very specific with key words and even then got 20 results.

A few more years….July of 2003 – I was *finally* pregnant for The Boy, and on bedrest. That’s when I seriously began thanking God for the internet – you just try laying on your left side for almost 17 weeks with nothing else to do! So I started poking around online, finding friends, and trying not to go out of my mind with boredom.

Once I had our son, I began going through all the mommy-boards out there, looking for advice and friendship during those endless hours of nursing-at-keyboard.  I found a wonderful online home, Gentle Christian Mothers, and began to make friends. The moms there were so encouraging as I started to slowly try to freelance with my photography skills, doing what I could to contribute to our income now that I was a stay-at-home mom. Eventually, I needed a website, couldn’t afford one, and decided to try to make my own. Of course, those early efforts were pathetic!! – but they introduced me to a whole new world. Not too long after that point, I cold-called one of the administrators at GCM (hey, Crystal!) and said something along the lines of “hey! I’ve enjoyed playing Scrabble with you online. By the way, um, your website? I’m learning how to do them and I don’t know too much about it but I’d love to try to make yours better what do you think?” and she said “sure!” Um, really? Turns out, she had been praying for the right person to come along, God told her he would send someone who shared her vision, and I called her just in time. (I think that she surely must have, when she saw my rudimentary skills, began to doubt what she’d heard! But she was always encouraging ) I knew I was in over my head, and so I called another GCM admin (Hey, Amamda!!) and asked for help. She oh-so-patiently put up with my incoherent phone calls at odd times, and pointed me in the right direction without ever getting annoyed – or at least she hid it well! One of the best things she did? “Hey, you should check out this thing called WordPress, I think it may do what you need better than an HTML site” – so I joined WordPress when it was at 1.5.

WordPress was so awesome! I started learning more, and more, and there was such a supportive community behind it. I slowly moved into opening my own business and began doing sites for people. After a brief flirtation with Mimbo, I found Revolution by Brian Gardner. He patiently put up with my initial email inquiries, and I ended up buying into his developer’s pack. Over time, I became a moderator/approved designer on his forums, and my business began expanding. I’m now working full time for StudioPress, Brian’s new business, and making an actual living being a stay-at-home mom.

So…to sum up this incredibly long post: I’m thankful for the book that led to me getting my license that led to me making life-long friends that led to me meeting my husband that led to me having my child that led to me making more friends that led to me getting into computers that led to me having the best job I’ve ever had that’s led to me being able to help with putting a roof over our heads…and, of course, I’m thankful for the hand of God that’s held my life so securely from the very beginning.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends