Messianic Times

The other night I was in bed trying to fall asleep.  It was much to warm to fall asleep right away, so I allowed God to speak to me.  He reminded me again of my desire to start a congregation, or something, that would be different from anything out there, or at least anything I know of that is out there.  I don’t know how to begin it or what I need to do to prepare, so in the meantime I’m in prayer over it.

Years ago I became very interested in studying more and more about our Jewish roots.  It really seems I’ve always felt like a little Jewish girl stuck in a Gentile body.  Funny thing is, through my research on my ancestry I discovered that my dad’s two grandmas and one grandpa were Jewish…at the time of their adulthood it was only by blood and not by faith as they all seemed to have converted themselves to Catholicism (the worship of Cathol) (lol).  My dad insisted this couldn’t be true, but after watching a PBS special (it was like six hours long) on Jews in America, it is completely plausible due to the stigma of Jews during and after WWII. 

Anyhoo, so now I’m a little Jewish girl stuck in a psuedo Gentile body…or maybe a little Jewish girl stuck in a Gentile culture…yeah, that makes more sense.  I longed to know more and even practice more of the Jewish culture, but never really put it into words what I was desiring.  It was like this curiousity that I didn’t even know I had…even though I knew I had it.  Confused?  Yeah.  I know.  I remember one time dropping off a friend at her aunt’s house for a Seder meal and sitting in the car watching her enter the house wishing I had been invited.  Stupid me never thought to just ask.  She probably didn’t think anyone would be interested in something as mundane as a Seder meal…she’d been doing it her whole life, so what’s the big deal? 

A few years ago I sat across a couple at my sister’s 40th birthday and they told us about their Messianic congregation.  This was before I actually knew I was a little Jewish girl, so I am impressed that two Gentiles were attending a congregation with such Jewish flavor.  I longed to go, but my husband said no way.  We were Gentiles and that’s that.  No amount of arguing would sway him.  Then years later we entered that congregation and I was sold.  I loved the music, the dance, the teaching, the people.  There really wasn’t one thing I didn’t love.  I began to teach Shabbat School, I taught the kids during Rosh Hashannah…I loved it.  Hubby was still on the fence as he felt certain needs weren’t being met, but overall he enjoyed it and was making friends there at the mens group.  It was all good.

Stuff happened and we aren’t there right now.  We’re back in the church I grew up in, which is awesome, but I miss that Jewish flavor.  I miss the music, the dancing, the teaching…and the people.  There is just something really neat about greating each other with, “Shabbat Shalom!”  It’s just neat.  I love where we are, the kids are growing in their relationship with their Savior…that’s really all I can ask for.  The teaching for us is pretty good, although I become occasionally appalled by the lack of understanding of the culture of the Bible.  Hard to explain.  I’m really weird and pick things apart.

Anyway (I was just interupted by a fussing baby who was woken up by some construction guy who isn’t kind enough to warn me when he’s about to make uber loud noises).

My thought, and hubby is in agreement with me, is to start a group who is interested in learning more about our Jewish roots and incorporating the holidays and such into our lives.  At the same time I want to make it really relevant.  Sort of a RockHarbor meets the Messianic movement…or PostModern Messianic.  I have amazing ideas, now I just need to pray for God’s leading and blessing over it all.