Looking Back

I’ve spent the last two days in virtual isolation. Other than an hour or so out each day, I was cocooned in my own little world with no commitments, no deadlines, no responsibility to anyone but myself. It was cathartic and exhilarating and very much needed.

I had originally scheduled my days of seclusion to last three days, but my plans went sideways when my friend whose house I was using needed to come home from vacation early, but by then I had done what I needed to do. I feel cleansed and refreshed and ready for the new challenges that face me.

I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone in all areas of my life…stretching myself into the me I want and deserve to be.

I’ll be spending this New Year’s eve in with my best friend in the whole world and her little boy, a couple of children (and a dog) belonging to another friend who got called into work and hopefully, if the almost-ex approves, my own boys. I’ve asked, I’m waiting on a text back right now.

Meanwhile, even if I can’t be with my boys tonight, I know there will be tons of time to catch up with them in the New Year.

It’s been a stressful, strange, beautiful, crazy year…the last 6 weeks have been the bumpiest part of the journey so far…as we bring this ride (our marriage) to an end more peacefully and amicably than I ever could have hoped for or imagined. But it’s come with new heights and greater depths in a shorter time than we’ve gone through before. I’ve lost 15 pounds without meaning too and I’ve staggered my way through too many epiphanies to process at once.

In a couple of days the hard work of retooling my life into the reality I envision will begin.

Tonight, I am taking the time to feel the joy of counting the multitude of blessings in my life…family, friends, &  faith…knowing that I am ready for whatever comes next because “I love myself today“