Negligent?

I really wish magic 8 balls worked.

Or that all baby books and articles and studies said the same thing.

Or that “right answers” fell out of the sky.

Because then these no-win issues wouldn’t exist.

It seems that no matter how much I read about vaccinations, I just don’t get any further ahead, any closer to that one perfect “correct” answer.

On the one hand, I can continue to delay my son’s vaccinations and to be selective about which ones he gets in the first place. I’m very fortunate to have a doctor who accepts this without question or objection. But how would I feel if my son ended up with a vaccine-preventable disease? And is it really fair to take advantage of everyone else’s vaccinations?

On the other hand, I can have the vaccinations done. I can allow the doctor to inject them into my baby. And then I can hope and pray that he isn’t adversely affected by them, and constantly wonder whether this or that is a result of the vaccines.

Either way, I’m gambling. Either way, I take a risk with my son’s health, with his life. It feels like either way, I lose.

My perfect little baby boy is napping a few feet away from me, blissfully unaware that on Tuesday, when he turns six months old, we will go see the doctor and once again his mom will say no, not today, we’re still delaying. No, not today will we inject him with substances that could have lasting negative effects on his health and development. No, not today will we increase his protection against this, that, and the other. What does that make us? Good? Bad? Thoughtful? Negligent?

Confused?

I know there probably is no right answer here. But for now, I’m doing what I think is best, after months of research. I’m continuing to delay. In the meantime, I’m breastfeeding, the bit of protection I can give him without worry. I’ll keep delaying until I feel it’s time to do otherwise – and maybe that day simply won’t ever come.